The beginning of my journey to loving myself was very simple and yet not simple at all.
The simple piece is that It was one thing alone that caused me to turn my aching eyes to Him. Eyes that were aching from comparison, from looking at myself and telling myself how not good enough I was. Eyes that were aching from the amount of times I dragged them across the mirror, across my figure, painstakingly highlighting my ‘defaults’. But worse then the longing ache of my eyes was the pain in my heart. The pain that told me I would never be good enough, the voices that whisper constantly reminding me that I’m not liked, asking me how I could possibly be chosen.
And then bam! God’s love hit my heart. He was somewhere nearby preparing an arrow, filled with His love, which He launched, striking me in my very core.
The simple piece was that God’s love was all that was needed and is still needed to transform me.
And where it gets wonderfully complicated is when I try to explain His love in just a few words. Oh, how can I? Oh how can I explain the deep effect that it has on me, to know that I am loved UNCONDITIONALLY with UNFAILING love. We are loved by a God who takes our breath away with His magnificence, a God who loves the deep aching pieces of our souls. And through His love, we can learn to love ourselves. We can watch Him loving our flaws, loving the pieces of our hearts that have rotted and we can accept our imperfect selves. We can see Him bring about such beauty in us and appreciate His works, knowing that by ourselves we could never be half as whole as we are in Him.
And it is this fact that we must remember; it is ONLY through His sacrifice that we can view ourselves without our hearts breaking as we see our true nature. As we see how us humans could never satisfy ourselves alone, no matter how many compliments and beautiful words fill our ears. It is by only hearing the message of our God, our Saviour that we may finally be full, that we may finally have some calm within our weary bodies, that we may finally have some peace with who we are, because we know that regardless of what we think of ourselves and the world around us, it is the love of the One who delicately shaped us that will have the finishing say in our story. His love covers all.